I have (and have had) so many disparate sites over the years, most of them running concurrently. A blog for this, a portfolio site for that–a million different URLs and places to remind people to visit. It would make sense, then, to streamline a bit, to have a central location from which brave explorers can head out to the satellites, right? I mean, wouldn’t you think? It sounds good, at least, and so I built this rudimentary website we’re both gawking at right now and then…I forget about it. Why does it always feel so weird to me to actually use this site, or at least to fucking update it once in a while?

Part of this, I think, is that it has my name on it. It makes me feel oddly exposed (though I’ve never really posting any work anywhere without using my actual name), or it puts some kind of pressure on me to post…I don’t know, not garbage. It’s all so ostentatious, my own domain name. (And yes, I opted for the “.rocks” suffix and I love it, but I also feel like “stacieponder” is too much ego. I contain multitudes.)

Another part of it all is, quite frankly, my output in the last few months has been sparse, to say the least. I put Final Girl on indefinite hiatus. Making physical art hasn’t much interested me. Making anything hasn’t much interested me. I’ve just been…here. It doesn’t make for very exciting updates.

Recently, though, that’s changed. I think maybe my brain was simply on some kind of Rumspringa, because as of late I am having ideas on ideas. Even more importantly, I’m doing something with those ideas. It feels good.

This past week I made the bed, an interactive horror tale. It is a simple thing, but it was also quite challenging. Writing the thing, re-writing it in a format that would work for what I wanted to do with it, learning the basics of a new program, figuring out how to bend the program to my will, finessing it until it’s mostly what I hoped it would be…it was several long days’ worth of effort. Effort that was often incredibly frustrating because believe it or not, I am no computer genius. But anyway, it’s a thing now that people can read and that is good. I’ve got some more interactive stories floating around my brain. Hopefully they won’t stay there.

current reading: The Talented Miss Highsmith by Joan Schenkar

current watching: Picnic at Hanging Rock (d. Peter Weir)

current listening: My Woman by Angel Olsen

current playing: No Man’s Sky